1. If you gave him a penny for his thoughts, you’d get change.

如果你用一分錢買他的想法，你還能拿到找零的。

2. She got into the gene pool while the lifeguard wasn’t watching.

她肯定是趁救生員不備，跳進過基因池。

3. During evolution, his ancestors were in the control group.

如果進化時他的祖先不是在控制組的話，他也許不會這么蠢。

4. A room temperature IQ.

智商簡直和室溫一樣高。

5. He has two brains; one is lost and the other is out looking for it.

他有兩個大腦，一個丟了，另一個去找去了。

6. She found some drink from the fountain of knowledge, but she just gargled.

人家暢飲智慧之泉，她卻只是拿來漱了漱口。

7. It takes him an-hour-and-a-half to watch 60 minutes.

他要花一個半小時來觀察一個小時。

8. She sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them.

她給自己設定的標準實在太低了，但每次還是達不到。

9. If he were any more stupid, he’d have to be watered twice a week.

如果他再笨點兒，就要一周給他澆兩次水了。（把他當植物來看了。）