1) Don’t accuse

1）不要指責(zé)

If you want your boyfriend to respond to you in a normal way (aka you don’t want him to get super mad and give you the silent treatment if that’s his usual deal), then you can’t ever accuse him of anything.

如果你想讓你的男朋友以正常的方式回復(fù)你（也就是你不想讓他非常憤怒，想讓他給你一個(gè)沉默的回答，如果這是他的通常應(yīng)對(duì)方法的話），那么你永遠(yuǎn)都不要指責(zé)他任何事情。

Explain what you’re concerned about and what the issue is. Use plain language and say things like “I feel” instead of “You did this” or “You’re being unfair.”

解釋你關(guān)心的以及問題所在。用平淡的語(yǔ)言，比如“我感覺”而不是“你這樣做”或者“你這樣不公平”來(lái)描述事情。

After all, if the situation was reversed and he talked to you about what you were doing wrong, you wouldn’t want to hear it, right? It’s all about the delivery.

畢竟，如果情況反過來(lái)發(fā)生在你身上，他對(duì)你說(shuō)你做的不對(duì)，你也不會(huì)愿意聽，對(duì)吧？這完全是陳述的方式問題。

2) Take responsibility

2)承擔(dān)責(zé)任

The truth is that it takes two to tango, to make a relationship work or fall apart, and to have a love story that lasts beyond your wildest dreams.

事實(shí)上，成就一段感情或者分手，擁有一段超出你的狂熱夢(mèng)想之外的愛情故事，是一件巴掌拍不響的事情。

It’s best to take responsibility for your own failings in the relationship. Since literally, no one is perfect, that means you’re not either, so you definitely have at least one thing to own up to.

最好的方法就是承擔(dān)你自己失敗的感情經(jīng)歷中的責(zé)任。因?yàn)閺淖置嫔蟻?lái)說(shuō)，人無(wú)完人，這意味著你也不例外，所以你肯定至少有一件需要承認(rèn)錯(cuò)誤的事情。

Talk to your boyfriend and say that you know you’re too quick to get mad at him, whether it’s about dividing up the chores and who’s going to cook dinner if you two live together.

跟你的男友談一談，告訴他你知道你太急于對(duì)他發(fā)火了，如果你們住在一起的話，無(wú)論是分配雜務(wù)，還是誰(shuí)去做飯，都不應(yīng)該對(duì)他生氣。

Or maybe it’s about spending more time together if you’re not at the cohabitation stage yet. Own your mistakes and say that you get that you didn’t respond in the best way and you understand that he gets frustrated with you sometimes.

或者如果你們還沒有到同居的階段，或許只是花時(shí)間在一起的問題。承認(rèn)自己的錯(cuò)誤，告訴他你知道你沒有用最好的方式回應(yīng)他，告訴他你知道他有時(shí)候會(huì)感到灰心。

3) Make change happen

3)做出改變

On that note, make sure that you’re not just talking to your boyfriend about any relationship problems so you can kiss and make up and sweep everything back under the rug.

關(guān)于這一點(diǎn)，要確保你并不是遇到任何感情問題都會(huì)和你的男友交談，你可以親吻他，彌補(bǔ)清除所有相處中的小問題。

1) Don’t accuse

1）不要指責(zé)

If you want your boyfriend to respond to you in a normal way (aka you don’t want him to get super mad and give you the silent treatment if that’s his usual deal), then you can’t ever accuse him of anything.

如果你想讓你的男朋友以正常的方式回復(fù)你（也就是你不想讓他非常憤怒，想讓他給你一個(gè)沉默的回答，如果這是他的通常應(yīng)對(duì)方法的話），那么你永遠(yuǎn)都不要指責(zé)他任何事情。

Explain what you’re concerned about and what the issue is. Use plain language and say things like “I feel” instead of “You did this” or “You’re being unfair.”

解釋你關(guān)心的以及問題所在。用平淡的語(yǔ)言，比如“我感覺”而不是“你這樣做”或者“你這樣不公平”來(lái)描述事情。

After all, if the situation was reversed and he talked to you about what you were doing wrong, you wouldn’t want to hear it, right? It’s all about the delivery.

畢竟，如果情況反過來(lái)發(fā)生在你身上，他對(duì)你說(shuō)你做的不對(duì)，你也不會(huì)愿意聽，對(duì)吧？這完全是陳述的方式問題。

2) Take responsibility

2)承擔(dān)責(zé)任

The truth is that it takes two to tango, to make a relationship work or fall apart, and to have a love story that lasts beyond your wildest dreams.

事實(shí)上，成就一段感情或者分手，擁有一段超出你的狂熱夢(mèng)想之外的愛情故事，是一件巴掌拍不響的事情。

It’s best to take responsibility for your own failings in the relationship. Since literally, no one is perfect, that means you’re not either, so you definitely have at least one thing to own up to.

最好的方法就是承擔(dān)你自己失敗的感情經(jīng)歷中的責(zé)任。因?yàn)閺淖置嫔蟻?lái)說(shuō)，人無(wú)完人，這意味著你也不例外，所以你肯定至少有一件需要承認(rèn)錯(cuò)誤的事情。

Talk to your boyfriend and say that you know you’re too quick to get mad at him, whether it’s about dividing up the chores and who’s going to cook dinner if you two live together.

跟你的男友談一談，告訴他你知道你太急于對(duì)他發(fā)火了，如果你們住在一起的話，無(wú)論是分配雜務(wù)，還是誰(shuí)去做飯，都不應(yīng)該對(duì)他生氣。

Or maybe it’s about spending more time together if you’re not at the cohabitation stage yet. Own your mistakes and say that you get that you didn’t respond in the best way and you understand that he gets frustrated with you sometimes.

或者如果你們還沒有到同居的階段，或許只是花時(shí)間在一起的問題。承認(rèn)自己的錯(cuò)誤，告訴他你知道你沒有用最好的方式回應(yīng)他，告訴他你知道他有時(shí)候會(huì)感到灰心。

3) Make change happen

3)做出改變

On that note, make sure that you’re not just talking to your boyfriend about any relationship problems so you can kiss and make up and sweep everything back under the rug.

關(guān)于這一點(diǎn)，要確保你并不是遇到任何感情問題都會(huì)和你的男友交談，你可以親吻他，彌補(bǔ)清除所有相處中的小問題。