Sure, you might think that if you were truly in love with someone, you wouldn't be able to have feelings for someone else. But sometimes this can actually happen - and it can be emotionally draining, as your heart gets pulled in two directions.

當(dāng)然，你可能會想：如果你真的愛著某人，你是不可能對其他人有感覺的。但有時候這種情況的確會發(fā)生--如果兩個人都在牽動著你的心，那你可能會覺得筋疲力盡。

Though, it is worth noting the difference between lust and love, as lust might represent more physical, sexual chemistry with a partner, and it's likely to be a more immediate, short-term affair. (Here's a guide to knowing if your love is real.)

雖然，了解欲望和愛之間的區(qū)別十分值得，因為欲望可能更注重與另一半在身體和性生活方面的契合，而且也更有可能是一種短暫的、瞬間即逝的婚外情。（跟著我們的指南，看看你是不是真的愛他/她吧。）

1. Slow Down

1. 別著急

"The feeling of being in love makes everything seem to feel urgent, quick-moving, and amplified. But if you're going to have to make a super tough decision here, and perhaps say goodbye to someone you feel you love - for their sake and yours, and to help ensure you make a wise decision - you really need to slow things down," he says.

"感覺自己戀愛了會讓一切事情都顯得那么急迫、快速以及放大。但如果你不得不做出一個特別困難的決定，也許要對你愛的人說再見--為了自己、為了他們，你一定要確保自己做出了明智的決定--你真的得放慢腳步，"他說道。

It's time to pump the brakes and try and take control over the overwhelming, intoxicating emotion you feel. Additionally, the act of trying to slow things down with the people you love will have some perks: it'll help you parse out any residual confusion you may be experiencing between the emotions of lust and love, he explains.

是時候踩剎車，控制這一壓倒性的、令人陶醉的情緒了。此外，試圖對你愛的人放慢腳步還會有些福利：這將幫你分析愛情和欲望之間的任何令你混淆的感情，他解釋道。

2. Pick One

2. 選一個

Sure, this might be tough, as you'll want to spend as much time with these two people as possible, but you can't keep both around. Sad but true - you can't have it all, here (unless that's something you all agree upon!).

當(dāng)然，這個過程可能很難，因為你很想盡可能地和這兩個人一起度過美好的時光，但你可不能腳踏兩只船啊。很悲傷，但也是事實--魚和熊掌不可兼得。（除非你們?nèi)齻€人都能同意！）

"Without a doubt, maintaining a true, loving relationship requires a heavy investment of time, heart, money, and attention, and these things are finite. And even if the people you love right now are happy with you, do realize that relationships are not frozen in stone, and they may need 'more' from you in the future," he says. So, even if it's fine being with two people right now, that can easily change.

"毫無疑問，維系一段真摯的戀情需要投入大量的時間、心力、金錢、注意力，而這些都是有限的。即使你現(xiàn)在愛的人和你在一起很開心，但你也得意識到這段戀情并非一成不變，或許未來他們還想從你身上得到更多，"他說道。所以，即使現(xiàn)在和兩個人在一起你很滿足，但世事無常啊。

And, it's almost impossible to be open with both of the people you're in love with about your polyamorous feelings, so even if one of your SOs says they're "cool" with you being in love with other people at the same time, the odds are that jealousy will appear in the relationship.

而且，你很難與你愛的兩個人談?wù)撃愣嗲榈那楦校约词沽硪话胫械囊粋€說他/她不在意你同時愛著另一個，但他/她嫉妒另一個人也不是不可能的。

Sure, you might think that if you were truly in love with someone, you wouldn't be able to have feelings for someone else. But sometimes this can actually happen - and it can be emotionally draining, as your heart gets pulled in two directions.

當(dāng)然，你可能會想：如果你真的愛著某人，你是不可能對其他人有感覺的。但有時候這種情況的確會發(fā)生--如果兩個人都在牽動著你的心，那你可能會覺得筋疲力盡。

Though, it is worth noting the difference between lust and love, as lust might represent more physical, sexual chemistry with a partner, and it's likely to be a more immediate, short-term affair. (Here's a guide to knowing if your love is real.)

雖然，了解欲望和愛之間的區(qū)別十分值得，因為欲望可能更注重與另一半在身體和性生活方面的契合，而且也更有可能是一種短暫的、瞬間即逝的婚外情。（跟著我們的指南，看看你是不是真的愛他/她吧。）

1. Slow Down

1. 別著急

"The feeling of being in love makes everything seem to feel urgent, quick-moving, and amplified. But if you're going to have to make a super tough decision here, and perhaps say goodbye to someone you feel you love - for their sake and yours, and to help ensure you make a wise decision - you really need to slow things down," he says.

"感覺自己戀愛了會讓一切事情都顯得那么急迫、快速以及放大。但如果你不得不做出一個特別困難的決定，也許要對你愛的人說再見--為了自己、為了他們，你一定要確保自己做出了明智的決定--你真的得放慢腳步，"他說道。

It's time to pump the brakes and try and take control over the overwhelming, intoxicating emotion you feel. Additionally, the act of trying to slow things down with the people you love will have some perks: it'll help you parse out any residual confusion you may be experiencing between the emotions of lust and love, he explains.

是時候踩剎車，控制這一壓倒性的、令人陶醉的情緒了。此外，試圖對你愛的人放慢腳步還會有些福利：這將幫你分析愛情和欲望之間的任何令你混淆的感情，他解釋道。

2. Pick One

2. 選一個

Sure, this might be tough, as you'll want to spend as much time with these two people as possible, but you can't keep both around. Sad but true - you can't have it all, here (unless that's something you all agree upon!).

當(dāng)然，這個過程可能很難，因為你很想盡可能地和這兩個人一起度過美好的時光，但你可不能腳踏兩只船啊。很悲傷，但也是事實--魚和熊掌不可兼得。（除非你們?nèi)齻€人都能同意！）

"Without a doubt, maintaining a true, loving relationship requires a heavy investment of time, heart, money, and attention, and these things are finite. And even if the people you love right now are happy with you, do realize that relationships are not frozen in stone, and they may need 'more' from you in the future," he says. So, even if it's fine being with two people right now, that can easily change.

"毫無疑問，維系一段真摯的戀情需要投入大量的時間、心力、金錢、注意力，而這些都是有限的。即使你現(xiàn)在愛的人和你在一起很開心，但你也得意識到這段戀情并非一成不變，或許未來他們還想從你身上得到更多，"他說道。所以，即使現(xiàn)在和兩個人在一起你很滿足，但世事無常啊。

And, it's almost impossible to be open with both of the people you're in love with about your polyamorous feelings, so even if one of your SOs says they're "cool" with you being in love with other people at the same time, the odds are that jealousy will appear in the relationship.

而且，你很難與你愛的兩個人談?wù)撃愣嗲榈那楦校约词沽硪话胫械囊粋€說他/她不在意你同時愛著另一個，但他/她嫉妒另一個人也不是不可能的。